Lionel Messi - life story

I was born June 24th 1987 in Rosario, Argentina (also the birthplace of Che Guevara). The youngest of 4, my Dad was a steel factory worker and myMum was a part time cleaner. Aged 11 I was diagnosed as being a hobbit. . .  hey, who let Ronaldotamper with this script?. . . No, I was diagnosed with a hormone deficiency. Some relatives who lived in Catalonia told Barca’s scouts about me. Barcelona sporting director Carles Rexach, was so impressed after 1 trial heoffered me a contract on the spot, writing it out on a napkin!Carles and Barca offered to pay for hormone treatments (which my parentscouldn’t afford!), so I eventually grew to 5’7” – you might think that’s short,butit’s the same height as Al Pacino, Tom Cruise and Bilbo Baggins…RONALDO!!!I made my 1st team debut On October 16 2004, (I was 3rd youngest playerever to play for Barca) and scored my first senior goal on May 1 2005 aged 17and 10 months, making me the youngest Barca player to score in La Liga. Both records have since been broken… by Bojan – when haters always say“Let’s see Messi do it on a wet night in Stoke: well Bojan’s done it!”I made my international debut not long after.  I had been offered the chance toplay for Spain, having become a Spanish citizen but I was too short to reachthe steps on the team bus…RONALDO!I became the youngest Argentinian to play and score at the World Cup in2006 when he came on against Serbia and Montenegro in a 6-0 win. Of course, coming from Argentina, I’m regularly compared to that other pintsized legend of the game, Papa Smurf…RONALDO! Of course, I meanOf course I mean Maradona.  The press nicknamed me 'Messidona'In 2012 I launched a full scale attack on the record books:I was the first player ever to score 5 goals in a Champions Leaguematch (against Bayer Leverkusen). I was the first player to score 8 hat-tricks in one season in La Liga. I surpassed Gerd Muller’s record (86) of goals scored in allcompetitions in a calendar year with 91. And became Barca’s record ever goal scorer. On the 22nd November I hit a hat-trick in a 5-1 win over Sevilla tobecome the all-time top scorer in La Liga with 253 goals, breaking therecord of 251 held by Telmo Zarra since 1955 - Just THREE days later,I scored another hat-trick in a 4–0 win over APOEL Nicosia tobecome the outright top scorer in the history of the UEFA ChampionsLeague with 74 goals. and in 2015, aged 27 I finally started shaving…RONALDO!!!!!I’ve captained Argentina to the World Cup final in 2014, winning the GoldenBall as the tournament’s best player. I’ve won 6 La Liga’s, 2 Copa Del Reys, 3 Champions leagues, 2 Uefa SuperCups and 2 World Club Cups. But *sobs* I’ve never proved myself on a wet night in StokeMirror mirror on the wall it's time for the most beautiful and best footballer of all timeI was born on the 5th February 1985 to poor but loving parents from a small island.